Does the Rosary Feel Like a Thorn in Your Side?

With the feast of my holy father Dominic quickly approaching (August 8), I think it would be most fitting to write a few words on the great devotion given to him by Our Lady: the Most Holy Rosary.

That’s a grand title our Holy Mother Church has given to this method of prayer. It shows how much she esteems and loves it, recommending it to her children ceaselessly. I will not spend much time extolling its history or virtues here, however, since there is another matter I wish to address. If you are interested in learning more, I would recommend two amazing books on this subject: 1) The Secret of the Rosary, written by my brother Dominican, St. Louis Marie de Montfort, and 2) Champions of the Rosary, by Fr. Donald Calloway, MIC.

As beautiful and wonderful as this special prayer is, the struggle of prayer is still quite real, isn’t it? Especially when you have been told constantly for years how amazing and necessary it is, but feel more guilted into its recitation than encouraged. I mean, don’t you know about the pleas of Our Lady of Fatima?! If you don’t say your daily Rosary, you’re disappointing the Mother of God! Or worse, you could fall into Hell like all those other millions of snowflakes!

I have heard about the negative emotions and difficulties many people have with the Rosary. I have experienced many of them myself. These often arise from bad associations we have with it, such as broken parental relationships, overly strict and unforgiving domestic prayer environments, lack of instruction in proper practice and understanding, or ridiculous motivational speeches about a demonically possessed monkey lurking under your bed, biding its time to murder you if you don’t say your beads.

When you recite the Hail Marys, don’t you wish you could actually appreciate the sweet scent of all those roses you are offering to our Queen? Are you tired of feeling like you’re lying in a bed of thorns? Do you want to love praying the Rosary? Here are five ideas to help you retrieve your Rosary relationship:

1. Take a Beads Break. Let’s be clear from the start: you will not go to Hell if you don’t practice this devotion. It is not a Precept of the Church. There are countless canonized saints who never said a Rosary. Devotion to Mary is an important part of our holy and wise religion, yes; but there are many ways to invoke Mary’s intercession and honor her role in salvation history. The storehouse of the Church is overflowing and abundant! As a Dominican, obviously I want you to love the Rosary as much as I do. But if you need to take a break while you are healing from past wounds, that’s okay. Our sweet little Mother loves you so much, she understands!
   

2. Get Back to Beads Basics. The Rosary has accumulated a number of additional prayers over the centuries. Add to that personal, parental, or parish favorites, and that little string of wooden beads can start to resemble a lumberjack’s log jam. Do you know what the original structure of the Rosary was? One Our Father, ten Hail Marys, and meditation on the Gospel mysteries. That’s it. Try the simplified original for a while, you can always add prayers back in that you want later.
   

3. Meditate Mysteriously and Multifariously. You don’t have to limit yourself to meditation on the characters, events, and timeline of the twenty mysteries, nor should you! You can think about what led up to the mystery, or what happened afterwards as a result. You can consider the virtue or virtues being exemplified by the characters of the mystery. You can ponder the deep meaning of the words and ideas expressed in the Our Father or the Hail Mary, and/or how they relate to the mystery. You can imagine Mary, Jesus, or one of the disciples telling you about their experiences of the mysteries. If something along the way excites you, strikes you, or inspires you, STOP: you can dedicate the rest of the decade to it. The Heavens are the limit!
   

4. Let the Decades Drop By. You don’t have to complete five decades in one sitting (or kneeling, or standing, or walking, or driving, or sleeping…heh heh). Say a decade here, and a decade there. When a musician practices a piece of music, it is most effective to break it down into short sections and play carefully through each. Why not do the same with the Rosary? After all, it’s hard lugging dozens or hundreds of roses all at the same time up to the Queen’s throne! You need to pace yourself and strengthen those prayer muscles, and with time you will be able to carry more and more roses with ease.
   

5. Smell and Enjoy Your Roses. Find a beautiful rosary that brings you joy. Personalize it. Take it to holy places and touch relics with it (I have a wooden rosary that I touched to the third largest relic of the True Cross in France). It is your tool, your toy, your treasure. It is an exquisitely and masterfully made pair of leather boots or sandals that fit you just right, ready to tromp with you all over the Holy Land. It is a warm and comforting embrace from your Mother whenever you are afraid, discouraged, or upset. It is your sword when you need to defend yourself from the Dragon and smite his head. It is your shining trumpet to open the Gates of Heaven.

Even though there have been times in my life when I have misunderstood and struggled with the Rosary, I have always come back to it; and every time I do, my relationship with it and its gentle Maternal Maker grows stronger. This is why my holy father Dominic labored unceasingly to promote her favorite devotion throughout his life. She is always there, waiting to help us pray and lead us more deeply into the knowledge and love of her son, Jesus.

Veritas et Caritas